The week that has gone by is a blur. Last week I enjoyed lunch with my girlfriends and Hilarie, this week I spent the day with them celebrating her life.
On Saturday our dear Hilarie lost her brave and inspiring fight with brain cancer. On Wednesday we celebrated her life, and all she had taught us. Today I am angry with the world. I know it is just a reaction, and it is not the one I want, I want to be able to cry and remember the happy memories but I can't. I am just angry, how did this happen, why her, and why can't we fix it.
I know all the answers, but I don't like them.
It has been a hard week balancing family, work and my feelings. I choose to celebrate the things we have, the memories we have made and the blessings we have.
I love that my children were so excited about our tea party for Ava, and that they took the lesson very seriously. We have had many car safety drills since and they still talk about the balloons that they sent to Ava. Kate said she will be so excited to get them and Noah said he thought the balloons would knock on the bottom of God's house so they would know the balloons were there.
I love that we spent time together taking photos for Daddy for Fathers Day and that I got some great shots of them hugging. I will scrap them soon.
I love that I got five years to spend with my friend and to watch her with such conviction in her choices for parenting her child. I love that she made me a better person, mother and friend.
I love that my children want to send balloons to Hillie.
I love my life. Maybe tomorrow I will be a little more thankful and a little less angry.
